Dream Deep

While I do think that this has some potential, I don't know that you're headed along the right track with the style. It feels rather very unbelievable as it is. ...

This isn't going to a be a very helpful critique, I think, but hopefully an encouraging comment if nothing else. ^_^ I read the previous version a few months ago, ...

Interesting as an opening - the successful prologue is the one which makes the reader curious as to what follows, and at the moment, I'm dying to know what happens ...

Also, what do you mean; a chip on your shoulder? Like, a potato chip? weird...:S ... 26. chip on one's shoulder : a disposition to quarrel: You will never make ...

I really love this. Short, sweet, simple and most of all, engaging - a bit like flash fiction turned poetic, or something by William Carlos Williams [" The Red Wheelbarrow ...

I don't believe that I ever commented on your poetry, Brad, and if I have, I am utterly unable to recall it. It's not because I haven't seen your poetry ...

Kingdom Carrier directed me over to this page, and I, after reading this, have to say that I'm glad he did. Please forgive me if I repeat anything already said ...

Dein kritik, mein Herr. ... Good Points : First off, the writing in this piece was very vivid and sharp, extremely enjoyable to read. The description was deeply colorful , ...

Hey Kingdom, Sorry to be the odd-man-out, but I liked this quite a lot. It has a lot of potential. ^_^ While I do think that the format has to ...

Hey Kingdom... Well, a few thoughts here. First of all, space this out - skip a line for each new paragraph. Secondly, kill the multiple exclamation points. They're like a ...

Hehe, 'tis perfect. (Though I'm not sure what the little gnome/wizard/witch/fairy thing's there for...?) And woohoo! , Shan and Ian and Livny and Arisen and the kid and co. have ...

I don't know that this classifies as full Non Fiction. It doesn't quite hit the mark as an essay... if you were aiming for essay-length, I would give this a ...

Gutan tag, mein Morgenstern - and a crit for you, because I happened to come across this on the front page and I remember you telling me about the drama ...

... came across this picture the other day, and it immediately made me think of Babushka. Well, it's from, ah, Romania, but close enough, da ? ^_~

... I'm further behind than I thought, haha. But no matter - that just means more chapters to read, which is always a treat. I think you've come quite a ...